Funotic.com Where Fun Never Ends
Gifts are awesome, always. No matter how useless they are to you, gifts/prizes and awards are always welcome. Although sometimes, some gifts leave you absolutely clueless about what, and more importantly, why you’ve received it. I once remember getting such a present. I was 10, and for my birthday, a relative who shall not be mentioned gifted me a stress buster that most definitely resembled a boob. Not a pair. One boob. Forget the breast bit, why would anyone give any 10-year-old a stress buster to begin with? Yeah, thank god he was never invited after that.
But my stress buster issues are nothing when compared to some of the gems others around the world have “won” as prizes. Each point on this one is a bigger ‘WTF’ than the other.
1. Breast implants
Yes, in 2010, Venezuelan politician Gustavo Rojas offered breast implants as a raffle prize. The raffle was done to raise money for his election campaign, and since he knew bigger breasts are what makes people happy, he went the silicone way.
2. Human skull
In 2014, website The Weird and Wonderful offered a human skull as a competition prize. The restaurant had to cancel the giveaway after people started complaining. People are such party poopers, I tell you.
3. Salary
In 2012, the Argentinian town of Bialet Masse was going through a really tough time. Their economy was in shambles and they didn’t have the money required to pay the employees. But something is better than nothing, right? Which is why Mayor Gustavo Pueyo announced that the officials would hold a raffle to find which of the town’s employees would be paid first. Ever felt lucky receiving your salary? Ask the people of Bialet Masse.
4. Kill a lion
Martin Nel Safaris, a safari company that organises hunting tours in Zimbabwe, felt the wrath of wildlife conservationists when they ran a raffle that gave hunters around the world a chance to hunt a lion. 100 raffle tickets went up for sale at $1,500 per ticket for a “full lion trophy hunt.” Wtf man, wtf.
5. Bottle of rose water
When one generally wins a Grand Prix, the driver is gifted with a bottle of champagne to celebrate. But what do the organisers do in a country where alcohol consumption is banned? Replace it with a bottle of rose water? Yes, that’s it. When Lewis Hamilton won the Bahrain Grand Prix, he got a bottle of rose water. He must have been stoked, just look at his ecstatic face.
6. Bananas
Back when humans were still apes, a banana as a present would’ve been a big deal. I mean, I can only imagine. Now, not so much. So we really wonder what cyclist Mark Cavendish ended up doing with the kilos of bananas he won after finishing first in the first stage of the 51st Presidential Cycling Tour.
7. Jim Beam pamphlets
Found this gem on Reddit. This person, going by the username Gressel, took part in a writing contest. Why not, since the first prize of the competition was a cool $10,000. That, unfortunately, didn’t happen. She came second and won a bunch of 8×10 Jim Beam printed advertisements as a prize. #Win
Here are some honourable mentions on which we couldn’t find more information (trust me, we tried, it would have made for a hilariously long story), but had to be told to the world anyway. Personal favourites have been marked in bold.
Plastic lobster
A dog biscuit (one)
Nit comb
Elaine Paige’s used false eyelashes
String of garlic
Heart shaped bed
Eight-course insect meal
One teabag
Remote control for curtains (just the remote, look for your own smart curtains)
Personalised baked bean (one)
Jar of fake snow
Six months supply of tampons (imagine getting knocked up after receiving something like this)
Feature as a character in a sex novel
Dragon’s blood
Empty tin to keep negative thoughts in (aww)
Photo of someone eating a yoghurt (someone you don’t know)
Chicken manure
’Orgasmic Birth’ DVD
Empty Jack Daniels barrel
Vampire teeth in a coffin
Bowling ball
Inflatable flea
Please make sure you go a step higher on the bizarrometer the next time you plan on gifting someone something.
Make enjoy guys.
