Maintaining Friendship With Married Guy Friends

Put Yourself In Their Partner’s Shoes

How would you feel if your own partner was engaged in a friendship like this? Would you be jealous? Mad? Hurt? Think about how their partner feels when the two of you go out for drinks. Do they even know about your hang times?

Embrace Their Partner

If you truly love your friend as only a friend, you’ll do your best to embrace the person they love. Get to know this person, and let this person get to know you.

Include Their Partner

Maybe in the old days, it was just you and your friend on Tuesday Movie Night and that’s the way you liked it. Well, things change and friendships evolve. Your friend’s married now, so be the biggest person you can be and include their partner in your plans every once and a while. If your friendship is pure, you won’t mind.

Give Them Space

Even if your friend wants to hang out everyday, give them space. They might not know they need it, but their partner will appreciate it. You’re not their life partner, you’re just a friend, which means they need to have a private life with their life partner that doesn’t include you.

Keep Things Kosher

Do not get involved in fights between your friend and their partner. Be a shoulder, be an ear, but do not go out of your way to bash you friend’s partner. If you have a legitimate concern, find a way to share it will eloquence and respect. You’re adults now, you have to be careful with your words.

Speak Up

If a part of you feels like there’s always a subtext when the two of you are together, bring it up. Is it in your head? Is your friend curious about you in a more-than-friendly way? Ignoring it won’t make it less so. If your friendship isn’t equally pure, it might not be worth fighting for.

Ask Questions

If you’re really not sure if the two of you are crossing invisible or hard-to-see lines, ask. It might the scariest or most uncomfortable conversation you have, but you should both be adult enough to be honest with yourselves and with each other. It’s better to acknowledge an overstep than it is to keep overstepping without looking.

Know When It’s Time To Go

You don’t want to lose your friend. They mean so much to you, but you know in your gut if the friendship is not as innocent as the two of you say it is. You might not have physical urges, but emotionally, there’s definitely some gray area that doesn’t feel good on your conscience. It may be painful, and it may be hard, but some friendships are meant to end. Let it go if it feels wrong. True friendships won’t.